How To Navigate Your Social Life During Infertility

CommunicationHow toInfertility ResourcesSocial
February 18, 2020

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‘FOMO’ didn’t really exist back when we were trying [to conceive]. Trust me, it was there, it’s just that the term hadn’t been created yet. I remember being at a friend’s house for the Big Game and having to cut our enjoyment short to return home to administer drugs. (If I hadn’t been scared of needles and requiring a quiet place to poke myself, we would have stayed.) We didn’t share our infertility journey with our friends until we were near the end. Instead, we said “we hate to leave early, but [insert excuse here]”, and ducked out as quickly as we could. We felt bad lying, but we weren’t ready to tell them the true reason, not just yet.

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Maintaining a social presence, as a couple or individual, while going through infertility can look and feel different. Here are a few things to consider when navigating social interactions.

Together or Solo

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It’s ok if your partner goes while you stay home. If you know Ashley is going to be there with their newborn baby, whoever is less inflicted by being around a baby might go while the other person stays home. Another option is you could go together but leave separately at different times to do x, y, z. Or skip the social outing all together. Sometimes just saying ‘no’ is the best option for your emotional, mental and physical well-being. Choosing your well-being over disappointing or hurting someone else’s feelings might be hard at first, but remembering why you’re doing this to start can help alleviate that concern. The most important thing to remember is that you have the ability (and the right to choose) who, when, and how you spend your time.



When you’re in the midst of infertility treatment, you’re administering drugs during specific time frames each day. What do you do when you need to administer medications while attending a social engagement? Well, here are a couple of options:

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You have a choice in how you spend your time. Consciously choosing what events you go to, or not, might provide a greater sense of control. Often times we say ‘yes’ to events because we feel obligated or guilty, when really we just don’t want to go. Also, remain open to declining at the last minute, because it might be the best thing for you at that moment. Shifting how you spend your time might look drastically different from what you’re used to, for instance, tailgating before a game might be replaced with another activity that doesn’t involve drinking alcohol. You might choose hiking, going to a museum, or learning a new craft instead of going to a bar.

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You have lots of options, even some not mentioned here. Take time out to pause, and check-in with yourself, and each other, before responding to an invite. At the end of the day, do what feels best for you in each and every moment.