If you Google “Brahmacharya,” you’ll find “celibacy” as one of the definitions and you’re probably thinking “how does that fix my infertility problem!?” Well, it doesn’t. The more commonly used definitions are non-excess or moderation. Now, those definitions are applicable to all of life, and of course, infertility.
Many of us treat ourselves when we’re going through infertility treatments.
And that’s OK. Taking care of yourself, physically and mentally, is important when you’re severely stressed. Not stressing over doing the dishes, getting dessert when going out to dinner, buying that new purse, and laying around in sweats all weekend-long are all totally acceptable actions when going through fertility treatments. We’re not talking about those excesses.
We’re talking about obsessive EXCESSIVE thoughts. The ones that sound like “What was that twinge?” “Should I only eat brazil nuts for the two-week-wait?” “If we do the next cycle to coincide with the full moon, I think it will increase our chances.”
It’s not just thoughts where you can practice Brahmacharya. There are also some excessive actions like Googling too much and talking to your spouse about every potential option.
So how do we change this? Since infertility is centered around the female reproductive cycle we can use the parts of the cycle where we’re not obsessed to get clear and put preventative measures into place.
Here’s what we suggest:
Write a list of the actions you typically take that are counterproductive, time-consuming, or annoying to others around ovulation through the two-week-wait.
Come up with an action plan to help prevent these excessive behaviors.
Enlist help from your partner, close friends, family, and technology to be part of your team.
Practice mindfulness daily.
Double-check your list with friends and family. Let them know you need to work together to decrease some of your habits. When it comes to actions you (and they) can start with distractions. Ask your friends and family to come up with activities to help you take your mind off of your treatments. Use technology to help block forums/websites or even put time limits on apps.
Learning to let go of the obsessive behavior can help relieve stress and decrease your expectations of each cycle. Reducing stress is one of the best things you can do in life to improve your health and your overall perspective of any situation.