The least talked about option after infertility treatment.

Childfree • Infertility Resources
October 6, 2020

Over the coming weeks, we’ll cover a topic avoided by many who are hoping they’ll have a child of their own one day – choosing and living the childfree life. Today, we’re exploring the variety of reasons why this option after infertility treatments is hardly considered or talked about.

Once you’ve crossed over into the inner realm that is infertility, you’re bombarded with terms, invasive tests, and different pathways like IUI, IVF, surrogacy, adoption, etc. Each pathway offers its own challenges, and the decision to go down one or the other will vary depending on your individual situation. One pathway many avoid talking about or even considering is childfree. 

Why? Well, I think for a variety of reasons, and here they are in no particular order:

• The doctors are in the business of getting you pregnant. Offering up every other option outside of childfree ensures they’ll continue to (hopefully) make your dream of becoming a parent possible, and at the same time, they’ll continue to make money. 

• You have your heart set on becoming pregnant and having a healthy baby – the ultimate goal. You will do anything to get pregnant even if you accumulate extensive financial debt and experience countless cycles of treatments that may take a heavy toll on your health and/or relationship. You’re in it for the long haul.

• You were just diagnosed as infertile, and the idea of going childfree isn’t even part of the equation, because you haven’t ruled out all of the other options or experienced your first round of treatment yet.

• Choosing to forego infertility treatments means your chances of having a biological child are minimal to none (depending on your prognosis). If you’re determined to continue your family’s legacy, having a biological child is important to you.

• Living childfree means you have to give up your vision of having a family and face the reality this decision brings for you and your partner for the rest of your life. 

• You haven’t exhausted all of your options just yet.

• Your partner is adamant that you have a child.

• You’re afraid of disappointing your family. 

• You’re unsure what the future holds. You’re unsure what it’s like to raise a family. You’re unsure what it’s like to live childfree. The unknown has you at a standstill until you’re able to sort through what living without a child might look and feel like for you and your partner.

• You’re afraid of making the wrong life-lasting decision. You feel choosing childfree is an unwanted last resort. 

• You’re not one to stand alone, go against the grain or the status quo.

The list goes on. They’re all valid reasons, and worth taking a closer look. What is your reason for avoiding childfree as a viable option?

Next week, we’ll explore why we prefer the term “childfree” vs. “childless.”